Hey friends, I had been thinking of you this week and realize we have not had a new piece in our ‘marriage’ category for some time. I saw this piece that a dear friend of mine, Mrs. Jones had posted on social media. The post was so good, I just had to share (via Mrs. Jones):
Celebrating my wedding anniversary today and got me pondering on what’s important.
(This is for the ladies. I’m not qualified to tell a man what to do. After all my experience is as a woman)
– Work on yourself more than on your spouse.
– don’t pretend all is well when it isn’t. Have the courage to have the hard conversations and do what it takes to solve the issues.
– Yeah it’s nice to see the PDA on social media but where it matters most is at home. So master being mushy in private first. A relationship with no intimacy, connection etc. won’t be strong enough to handle the storms. You’re only deceiving yourself. The rest of us can see right though the act. That negativity releases a vibe that can be felt miles away.
– Regardless of the short comings speak life to each other. See past the flaws and see the greatness in each other.
– We all hate nagging. It’s like nails on a chalk board. Just don’t.
– Don’t be quick to call it quits over petty stuff like dirty socks on the floor, forgot anniversary, tube of toothpaste etc. None of those things are vital to existence. Annoying? Yes but worth a week of fighting and years of misery? No.
– Learn to forgive. It’s two imperfect people coming together. There will be some messing up. So let it go!
– Give each other space to grow and go after each own dreams. Hey we moved out our parents home cause we didn’t like being told what to do. Get the hint? ;D just in case (stop being his mom be his wife).
– Our happiness depends solely on our mindset not our spouse. We have to learn to be happy regardless of what happens. No one wants to be with someone who’s needy and draining. Putting those expectations on a spouse is like pulling an elephant on a wagon up hill with the breaks on. It sucks!
Marriage isn’t supposed to be perfect. It’s meant to be worth it. Love covers imperfection and gives grace for each to be them selves. When we all have that freedom we can be our best in any situation. Plus hey, you’ll discover that your spouse is 100 times more awesome than you gave them credit for.
I was thinking about each of you today as I drank my morning cup of tea; especially on my heart were parents of infant through school age children. The mornings can be really tough and brutal for some parents. Sometimes it can almost seem as a physical obstacle just to get through the basic routine and to work on time. Sometimes as parents we just need a few added minutes to the day to ensure all gets done. What you wouldn’t do for an extra 15-20 minutes added to your morning!!! The good news is, you can and there is a way to add those minutes to your time each day. Here are a few tips and strategies that you can apply to achieve this:
My husband and I recently had a discussion regarding our daughter and time. Just recently, as you may know, I launched our new website and Facebook page. In the near future, I will be co-launching another project associated with this; which in turn will allow my husband to join me linking his new business to mine. At first, I really fought this project knowing what it could possibly mean for the vision and dreams that my husband and I had together. I must admit, I was a bit fear bound about exposing ourselves and being so vulnerable to comments and criticism. At the same time, our hearts are so big and we see so many mothers and families that could benefit from the vision that God has laid on our heart. It is almost disobedient for us not to move forward at this point. No worries, we are completely pressing in and listening to the Lord for every step of the way. It is more important now than ever to trust the Lord; especially when it comes to business ventures and family matters. With so many signs, wonders, confirmations, and affirmations, we are pressing in strongly to see God’s hand at work here.
I was at a crossroads, overcoming or full on implosion, letting everything I had worked for consume me. The clock was ticking and only I could make that choice. How could I have been so selfish to think I had really been helping others including my own family? I was a short circuited mess, a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Something was really not right with this picture.
Right away I went into my prayer closet to ask God what needed to change in me to thrive and succeed the way I truly desired to. Certainly I would be required to walk in a higher measure of faith. Our society teaches us that we must work hard to have the life we want and that God only helps those that help themselves. Though we are called to serve through our work and our efforts, it is not by our own strength and efforts that we excel, but in the hands of our Lord, the very one who breathed and gave us life.
It came the time that I had to choose. Would I continue to exhaust myself long hours? I had fallen into the old habit of working morning through night with little to no end. I was driven by the dollar sign and the chance to make more money. I was not content with where I was. What started as intent to serve and help more people to success in my industry, turned into manipulation by a dollar sign.
My health began to deteriorate quickly. I was always exhausted and felt the pressure that what I did was never enough. I had to fix, control, and answer to everything and everyone. I had once again come into bondage and at the expense of my family being seconds. I had stopped spending as much time with them and rather than them coming before work, my work consumed me. Work was what I woke up with, all I thought about, all I discussed, and all I went to bed with at night.
Until this point I had been extremely consistent in making great income the last 9 months are so, more consistent than I had ever. I cannot believe I had been willing to risk this because somehow I thought harder and longer would be better. I was incredibly wronged and humiliated. In fact I am thankful for the ladies who shared with me from their hearts to unlock me so that my eyes may have become opened. I had begun to lost hope that anyone had truly cared about me because I was so stressed serving everyone else. I really was suffering torment with the undue pressure I placed on myself to out perform. Friends, let me tell you it was not worth it. I had begun to resent my entire life, alienating and isolating out of anger and frustration. I had become greedy to the dollar sign. This was something I had vowed not to do; never again wishing to escape into my workaholism like I once had.
I was supposed to be living a non-traditional lifestyle with my family. To me, non-traditional meant just that, deviating from traditional norms of what others were doing; working less, spending more time with family, traveling the world, doing things I enjoyed, serving others in reaching their goals, and being able to give more income than I had ever made before. I wanted guide and direct people into showing them how to be free, how to spend time with family, how to grow income, and how to gain time back.
With my stress levels it was no wonder that anyone would ever want to follow me. If I were them, I would not have wanted to follow me either. It was down to two choices: continue the disastrous path I was on OR make the decision that something in my life must change now or face some serious consequences. I didn’t know what those consequences would be, but I sure knew I was not willing to find out. CHANGE was the only option for me. God was speaking clearly to me through these two women one day and I had better have my listening ears on. He was not going to repeat himself a second time I can guarantee you that. What decision did I make? Stay tuned to find out….