Well it’s true friends, I finally did it! I managed to scale my hours back! It wasn’t without much sacrificing! I felt like I was giving up a baby I had just birthed! What an experience this was!
For months, I thought I had my time management down and in order until my husband and I made the decision recently to add two companies to his nearly full time job and my existing business PLUS being parents and having household responsibilities! Theoretically this was all a great idea, but we missed one small and VERY important detail! TIME!
We had not made a decision as to where to place our time! This resulted in working early in the morning until super late at night! Myself, I experienced extreme exhaustion and that was with taking vitamins and eating super healthy. No matter how healthy I ate, the stress and anxiety was causing my cortisol levels in my body to increase leaving me with stomach pain and inflammation. On top of it, from all the staring of the screen, my eye sockets were in constant pain even after 8 hours of sleep.
My husband looked drained trying to keep up with me and my daughter was acting out by smearing poop on the wall. My entire home looked like a tornado went through it and no matter how much I worked on it, everything piled up because the attention I would normally devote to it had been focused on, well you guessed it, WORK! There was not enough time and to think I wanted even more time added to my day, but where???
The resentment in every area of my life was creeping in. I didn’t feel I had enough time with my husband. Half the time I wanted to ship my daughter off because of her acting out. I didn’t have the energy I needed to correct her or to be the mother that I knew I was capable of. I was in BIG trouble, I mean BIG trouble. I couldn’t keep up this pace any longer, the writing was on the wall.
I could either make changes or entirely self destruct! With a little help from a few special friends and a few devotions and reminders from the Lord, I realized I had been striving in my own strength for too long. I had been trying to make things happen my way because I thought my plan was not just any plan, but ‘THE’ plan and noone was going to tell me different! Boy, was I ever WRONG. I had to ask myself why was I do ing this? Now I am positive that I was only doing this for myself, to see the results of what I could do.
Friends it was time for me to scale back, the stress and the problems were not worth my freedom anymore. I was in bondage in a big way and was tired of living a life of routine, but never having lived at all. I wanted a quality life where my entire family was happy and winning. This of course required me to scale back my hours, to know when to delegate, and to be there for my family more. This would require a higher measure of faith and stronger conviction and belief in myself.
God did not ask me or any of you to strive. He asked us to be willing to be used. Yes there is a message to this, He, God, wants to be able to use you. If you are about yourself and your own agenda, no fruit will come off that except temporary gratification. When we think we can do it all ourself, our plan is proven to crumble and fall apart. When we choose to trust God that if we commit our plan to his plan, He will work it all out on our behalf. We just have to be willing to do what He asks; even if this means not following the plans others think we should, even if it seems like there are more circumstantial problems or there is opposition and nothing is lining up, we must trust God for His plan and be willing to trade in and hand over our cares to Him. He will make a way where there is none, but we must be willing to get out of the way and in a spot with a soft tender heart open to receiving His plan. If there is anything that is keeping you and stopping you from doing so, go to God and ask Him to show you what is separating you from Him and from receiving all the promises He has for you. He wants you to inherit all the desires of your heart, just not your timing and your plan. Your life belongs in His hands, let Jesus take ahold of the wheel and let Him steer you. The freedom you will experience is way more worth it, even if it means going backwards before forwards! We must be pruned before we can receive more and be entrusted with ALL He has for us! It’s coming, trust in Him and His plan! Love you!